How wheat causes dislocations

It began innocently enough. I saw the fried catfish on the menu and, hopeful, asked the waitress how it was prepared. “Oh,” she gushed, “it’s coated in corn meal. “Just cornmeal?  I wanted to make sure. “Yep. I’ve worked here nine years, I know all about how everything is cooked.”

By midnight, I knew wasn’t as familiar with the kitchen as she thought she was. The evidence? The sores that were developing in my mouth. Sores that make their painful appearance when I’ve been eating something with wheat in it.  Damn. Damn damn. I took a benedryl, washed my mouth out with antiseptic mouthwash and went to bed.

When I woke up, I instantly wished to stay home.  Some mule driver had come into my room during the night and had their jackass kick me square in the face.  I felt horrible. The sores were hot little wounds. And my sinuses were swollen–another effect of the wheat, combined with the ragweed in the air. I ate some plain yogurt, making sure to get it all over my gums. I took another benedryl. I sat down in despair. Damn that mule. I should take something for the pain. Naproxen? Who was I kidding? I already had sores in my mouth and probably my entire gut. Maybe Darvocet would help.  

I went to work, hoping the Darvocet would kick in. Or the benedryl. Or that my face would explode and kill me. Really, any change would have been welcome.  After a couple of hours, the sinus swelling from the allergies started to go down, though the pain was still relentlessly hanging on. Another couple of dispiriting hours went by. Suddenly—Pop!  My jaw went into place and the pain began to dissipate.  

Wow, my mouth sores had been annoying me so much I hadn’t even noticed that I had dislocated my jaw. Too bad, because I could have fixed that right off.  So that’s why I felt like I had been kicked in the face. I must have been grinding my teeth in discomfort during the night. I’ll try to avoid a repeat of this experience, and take the pain killer before going to bed tonight. Because those mouth sores? Still there. I’m sticking with the grilled catfish from now on.

a bit of whinging

Poopy poopy poop poop.

OK, first, I think I have tracked down my migraine-inducer to the latest GF flour I was using. Back to corn and buckwheat! But in the meantime, I have a mouthful of cold sores and the intestinal distress that lets me know that things don’t look so great on the inside either. One week and running. So to speak. Maybe by the end of this week, it will finally all be out of my system. But I have a lot of this flour leftover. Any ideas on what to do with it?

Second, it’s hell time at work, which means a lot more physical movement than my joints like. Everything hurts. Except for the things which are tingly with pinched nerves. Things like, oh, my hands.

Third, I’m not very happy with people purposely getting in the way of me doing things that make my work place more accessible or with them making comments about how I do things. I don’t care if it isn’t the way you do things. It’s the way I do it.

But fourth is funny. My housemate just woke up screaming and prancing around from a giant cockroach having run into his pajamas. I only have pain. He has a cockroach in his drawers. I think I’m ahead.