Cause of death: Easily distracted by shiny objects

OK, friends, I need a gadget. Surely there is something out there that will alert me that I have forgotten to turn off the burner on the stove. Something besides the smoke alarm that I can never reach and end up knocking to the ground where it lies dormant until I get someone else to put it back up. Something that will come on before the smoke alarm. That would be good. I’ve already managed to cook the spout right off one tea kettle. Stop me before I manage new feats of inadvertent stove-top metallurgy.

A friendly warning

If you get cinnamon shower gel as a gift, do not use it on your face. Or more personal areas.

Good news in shoes?

One of the last things I did in 2009 was go, yet again, on a quest for decent orthopedic shoes. This time, I even remembered to bring my prescription! Yay! When you know from the outset that your fugly shoes and insoles are going to cost you in the neighborhood of $200, it is nice to know at least they won’t be taxed.

The ones I bought back in August were already breaking down from the stress of my gait and stance and being worn constantly everyday. And shoes that are breaking down don’t do much to prevent pain or keep me from falling over. And if the shoes aren’t preventing pain and keeping me upright, then tell me again why I am wearing orthopedic shoes with my dresses? Yes, time for new visually unappealing footwear.

I went to a different orthopedic shop this time, that carries slightly different stock in both shoes and in-soles. So, this time, I ended up with a pair of Drew Boas and a whole new in-sole build. The Boas are still not what one would call appropriate for dresses, but I actually like their look. They are black with silver highlights and glow-in-the-dark white piping. (Just like the one on this page about them.) And they don’t have to be tied, which is an unexpected good feature. Instead, there’s a knob on the back that twists to tighten the lacing. Since my fingers are on the wanky side, my laces were always coming undone and posing a tripping hazard. I still have to tighten these throughout the day, but the laces can only get a bit loose, not flop around. And I just have to tug on the knob to loosen the laces up enough to take the shoes off, so removing them isn’t the chore it often is if I have ties that I’ve managed to somehow get to stay put.

OK, that’s the shoe part. The really exciting part is the insole. They had me try Cluffy Wedges to prevent my big toes from hyperextending and help with the pronation. And they work! I was really hesitant to say anything to y’all at first for fear that the good effects were temporary and that my sloppy feet would just find a new way to fail. And maybe they still will. Who knows? My feet have mysterious Fail powers. But these past two weeks, it’s been amazing. Dear hearts, I actually have been able to take the stairs because my knees and hips have fallen into alignment. I had–get this!–muscle pain in my thighs and back instead of joint pain from the waist down! To me, this is sort of the toe version of Silver Ring Splints. Yes, I still have to have significant arch support and a lift for my left leg, and I still have to wear orthopedic–er, “comfort”–shoes, but it is a big deal to be able to actually stand in the checkout line at the grocery store for as long as it takes instead of having to abandon the cart and try shopping again some other time.

And I’m also happy with Total Relief Footwear, for not only figuring out a good system for me but also being understanding in finding me something that I don’t find depressing to wear. They were worth the extra driving distance.

In the Reception Room

I went to the doctor’s today, just to get a new prescription for orthopedic shoes. It was cold and rainy, and I was glad to find parking and get inside without falling down. I signed in and took a seat.

Across from me, a pleasant woman maybe a decade older than me spoke in soft Tejano accents with a man near my age. Their level of ease with each other indicated they were family. The man was called in for his visit and after he left, the woman looked at me and smiled like she had something she just had to say.

“Are you here to see the doctor?”

“Yes, just to get a prescription.”

“You are so lovely. You look very good.”

Well! Well! Now, that’s a good start to anyone’s day!

A bit embarrassed, I thanked her and asked how her Christmas had been. “Oh, very nice.” She was visiting her niece, she told me. I asked where she had come in from. Laredo. I said I hoped she’d flown, because it is too long a drive.

“And how was your Christmas?” she asked, turning the subject back to me.

“Good. I spent it with my daughter and son-in-law.”

A moment’s pause.

“Are you a widow?”

I suppose I looked confused, so she repeated herself, and I realized I just hadn’t accounted for her accent. A widow.

“No, just divorced for many years. Are you widowed, then?”

Yes, she told me, eight years now. Her eyes focused on an inner place of her heart.

“It was a freak accident, the day before Thanksgiving. My husband was diabetic.”

“A car accident?” I was thinking of the diabetics I have known who have misjudged their sugar level and had serious, though fortunately, not fatal, accidents.

“No. We were at home. I was busy in another part of the house. He was painting the bathroom. Somehow, he fell. He must have hit his head, and he cut himself badly. By the time I came to check on him, he had bled to death.”

She smiled. “I get through the days because I know he waits for me. I look forward to when we are together again.”

Her family member came out and sat down, apparently needing to wait for his shot to take effect and preferring the drafty reception room and the company of his aunt to the sterility of the examination room.

“Until then, I must live everyday.”

“Because that’s what he would want for you, to live fully?”

“Yes.” She looked at the man beside her, and smiled. I’d say she beamed with love, but that would give the impression that she wasn’t beaming with love before. You could tell, from her despairing heart, she pours her love into those around her.

You know what? She was so lovely.

Xmas: survived!

It isn’t that I hate Xmas. I don’t have any negative feelings about it. I just don’t love it, not the way that the incessant carols and advertising and build-up since before Halloween insist that I should. I enjoy New Year’s Day much more, with its simple meal and quiet contemplation. And the week preceding, when I put away all the claptrap of Xmas and try to get out of the way any business holding over from this current year so that I can start freshly on the 1st.

But I did have a lovely Xmas. I got an unanticipated phone call from my brother, who merely wanted to chat and ask when I would come to see him. And I spent the day with my daughter and son-in-law, in their underheated, drafty abode, warmed by the fire of my silly girl’s love for Xmas. As much as I am indifferent to the day, she is downright bouncing off the wall with excitement for. But, then, she’s like that with everything, and it is one of the many endearing traits she has. I came away with tons of gluten-free cookies, all home-baked, and what feels like a literal ton of Japanese language learning magazines. The cookies are becoming ever lighter, but the magazines are still in my car, awaiting the assistance of someone who can not only pick them up but do so without collapsing immediately. So, maybe tonight, then, if the son-in-law comes by.

To everyone, whether your Xmas was good, bad, or indifferent, may the last week of 2009 be the perfect preface for the new year to come.

Japan and disabilities–links

So, to help me on my way, I am collecting informative links about disabilities and society in Japan. These will be news stories and the like. Feel free to send me a link if you find something. I will edit this post as I find new things.

A politician calls for eliminating the “weak”. He also plays a ukulele while singing about people who oppose him. I suspect his song must go on quite a bit, because he must have a long line of people who dislike him.

A disabled man is killed by shiftless lowlifes who pocketed his disability income. There should be prize to the first country that figures out how to protect dependent citizens from such vultures.

There’s a city that has made an effort to become an accessible tourist attraction. Interesting how that one politician sees people with disabilities as a burden, while a large number of pols in Takayama must see people with disabilities as an opportunity, instead.

A man who has practiced aikido and is biking around Guam. Was that common, 40 years ago, to expect babies with spina bifida to die early? That is surprising to me.

Thankful

The past few weeks have been exhausting. Between a hellish pace at work and my joints, I have been beat. Too beat to even think about having something witty, useful, or at all worth reading to write. And not hardly the energy to read anyone else’s blogs or answer emails.

For Thanksgiving, hoping to contain the general family mayhem, I had everyone over, knowing that the lack of TV reception would have them all eating and leaving in short order. Yes, I am devious that way. It was tiring getting up early when I so needed to sleep in, but rewarding to see my vegetables being eaten, eat my mom’s turkey and ham, and celebrate a new step-nephew’s inclusion into the family. And then, today I slept. And slept. And slept. I think the muscle pain may finally be wearing down.

I saw the ortho Tuesday, told him I wasn’t going to do the PT or see the neurologist again because I think his diagnosis was wrong. And he agreed, encouraged me to essentially keep being bullheaded, and said we will just take things as they come. I’m thinking I may be past the defensive medicine stage with him, so that is good.

The wound on my back from the removal of the carcinoma seems to be healing OK. It has stopped oozing, and the skin around it, that had started to break out and blister from the bandages, has calmed down and is looking mostly normal. The scabs are sort of half on and half off, and still itchy, but at least I can lie down on my back now when I sleep. Another good thing.

Most importantly, I have the desire to research again. Finding the time to do it will be the trick, but my efforts at learning Japanese and my interests in pop-culture and disability issues are all sort of coming together at the moment. My money, time and employment issues are the same dragging forces as ever, but my interest is back. And maybe even some of you will want to know what I come up with, despite my lack of useful affiliation with any institution and absence of peer reviewed publication? Or maybe I’m just at a stage where I no longer care about those things, and will just do what I want.

New comment policy

I’m sorry to do this, but the increased number of spambot comment submissions make it necessary. From now on, you will need to log in with your Blogger or Open ID account in order to leave a comment. Real comments from real humans who have something decent to say (as opposed to trolls and spammers) will continue to be accepted.

Derm test results

The dermatologist’s office called yesterday with the results, and, sure enough, I have a basal cell carcinoma. I’ll get it removed Monday morning, then go to work. I hope there is something better to do that just put vaseline on the wound, because that is what he is having me do for the wound from the biopsy, and, man, I am getting sick of my shirt sticking to the oozy scab.

I’m not worried about the surgery itself. It should be fast and hopefully completely remove the offending skin. I’ve had a basal cell carcinoma in the same spot before, but it was treated with topical chemicals rather than just getting rid of the damned thing.

Dermatologist comes complete with clue!

Wow!

I went this morning (well, now it’s yesterday morning) to a dermatologist to have my back checked since Carapace had thought she spotted some problematic moles.

Once the dermatologist began his check, he noticed my ring splints and asked me what they were for. I told him, “to keep my thumbs on.” Then I told him that my daughter has an official diagnosis of EDS, hypermobile. (My own official diagnosis is much more vague and scattered.) He’s touching and pulling on my skin, and says “I was going to ask you about that.” Then, “what other symptoms do you have?” I told him all my joints are generally lax and that some people say I have soft skin. And he said, “It is soft.” Then asked me some more questions about Carapace and other family members.

Now, you may wonder, why I am impressed with this. After all, I am pretty obviously symptomatic, right? And I always give a complete medical history, both personal and family. But doctors hear what they want to hear, see what they want to see, and will tell you to shut up if they don’t like you rocking their world with conditions they don’t feel adequate to treat. They’d rather send you for endless pointless testing in the hopes that it will lead to something they know about than believe the evidence in front of them. But this doctor was different, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I can trust a doctor, and my confidence in my own ability to assess what is going on with me is better because of that.

So. That ortho? He can either pull his head out and pay attention to what I say, or I can see a different one who listens in the first place.